Bye Bye Bertha- The End of an Era

When Logan turned 16 he got his first car, Bertha, at least that’s what I called it. Fast forward 12.5 years and it is FINALLY time to part ways and say our goodbyes.

Bertha's spedometer at 255,000 miles

He’s needed a new car for at least the past 3 years. But being the trooper/frugal man that he is, he stuck with her through the ups and the downs… mostly the downs. When the air conditioning decided to only work on the passenger side and only when you had it in the right spot, between the 4 and 5 marker, this big (former) defensive tackle kept with her, and let his hair blow in the wind; at least while the window still rolled down. But then Bertha decided she didn’t want that driver side window to be able to roll back up. Luckily for Logan, this happened on a rainy day…at 6 am…on his way to work. Door stop holding up the windowYet, Logan still stuck with her and fancied her up with a nice doorstop wedged in the bottom of the window. So now, during the beautiful Florida summer, this man got to experience the luxury of no A/C and no wind blowing through his luscious locks. On the plus side, he did have his own personal sauna. People pay a lot of money for that.

When Bertha could no longer bear the weight of Logan’s extra muscular forearm, her center console finally broke in two. Logan the money savvy stud muffin that I love persevered through this troubling time by buying a console top on ebay. Of course it wasn’t the correct color, and he installed it himself.

So apparently center console #2 also started to break.

Bertha was now looking as stylish as ever. I think my favorite thing about this wonderful car was the cracked bumper. In fact, the cracked bumper was actually the start of her beautiful transformation. It happen 5 years ago in the middle of the night. I was following Logan home when he stopped suddenly in the middle of the road resulting in me rear-ending him, busting his bumper and totaling my car. To this day he insists that there was a litter of kittens crossing the road. I saw no kittens, only my airbag blown up in my face. Since I love him I took him at his word.


Now, Ol’ Bertha was so loyal to her beloved Logan she molded the driver’s seat to his body. Good for Logan. Not good for me. The seat was so broken in I looked like a little 90 year old lady trying to drive an Escalade. Did I mention Bertha was a Chevy Impala?

Bertha was on her last limb and we all knew it. It was time for Logan to go shopping. Since he was in  Georgia, he called me while he was looking around. As I listened to the conversation between Logan and the car salesman I heard the following:

Salesman: We’ll give you $500 for the Impala.

(Knowing Bertha’s condition, I think, “Hey, that ain’t too bad!”)

Logan: Nah, at that price, I think I’ll just keep it.



After discussing it and reevaluating Ol’ Bertha’s beautiful and oh so charming characteristics, he decided to trade in his loving Bertha. And we welcomed Ava the Avalon into our family with open arms!